In honor of another Infertile Stepmom

This post makes me quite sad to write, but I truly feel the need to do so, in honor of a woman who has inspired me for the past few months.  And it just goes to show you that you don't have to meet someone in real life, but that your life can be touched by a woman you meet in an online community.

I first met Amanda a little over a year ago, in a private buddy group of infertile women.  I felt a connection to her because she also knew the struggle of being infertile while raising someone else's child (and it is a job that she does beautifully).  I then followed her to a buddy group of women who have been trying to conceive for over two years. 

Amanda conceived following a IUI, and she was clearly over the moon about it.  Her pregnancy went smoothly at first, but midway through it, she found a clot in her jugular.  I remember her posting that her doctor thought it could be one of three things, and she didn't qualify for the first two, which left the third option - cancer.  At some point in the next few months, it was discovered that the clot was in fact cancer that had spread.  She was diagnosed with an advanced stage of liver cancer.  The prognosis was not good.

The decision was made to start pumping steroids into her unborn baby and induce him so that Amanda could begin radiation and chemo soon after.  At approximately 33 weeks, her sweet son Luke was born.  Her dream of being a momma was fulfilled, and in pictures you can clearly see what joy he has brought her. 

The radiation and chemo took their toll on her, making her sick, and judging from her pictures, she grew much thinner.  She was in and out of the hospital, and she must have been suffering.

About ten days ago, she made the facebook post that has kept her constantly on my mind, and near tears every time I think about her.  She has moved to an end-of-life hospice, and just recently, she acknowledged on fb that her time left is short.

Amanda, you have demonstrated such grace and dignity through your terrible ordeal.  I truly don't believe any other person could have faced this challenge with such positivity.  You are an inspiration to many, and we think of you often.  I am so grateful that little Luke came into your life, and that you got to know the joy of being his momma.  I hope both he and your stepson will always know how much you loved them, and how you would do anything for them.  It has been a blessing to have you in my life, even if only online, and I wish you peace and comfort is the coming days. 

Godspeed Amanda.  You are so loved.